no more procrastination?

heh, my internal clock is so screwed. i’ve slept like 3 hours in the last 40 or so hours and i’m still pretty much awake… though i’ll probably conk out the moment i lie down. which will be later, after i take a shower.

anyway, i swear god (if he exists) or whoever is up there is really telling me to STOP PROCRASTINATING. somehow it seems like shit keeps happening like before a deadline these days. and it’s quite definitely proportionate to how much i procrastinate. ie, the more i procrastinate, the higher the likelihood of things (almost) exploding in my face.

i can’t remember the last i-procrastinated-and-nearly-died-for-it incident, but NM2208 is an excellent case in point. while i’ve been doing a bit here and there for the portfolio, i didn’t actually really sit down and do stuff for it until tuesday… it was due today (thursday), btw.

well, it’s not too bad and by tuesday evening i was already starting to panick (always a good/bad thing, cos panic makes me procrastinate less. though i do get the occasional moments of self-doubt and omg-shit-i’m-gonna-die, too.), to the point that i didn’t sleep the whole of tuesday night. when i finally took a nap in the afternoon on wednesday, i was rudely awakened by loud speaker noises outside my window… which was when i realised that they were going to have some orientation concert thing on the grass patch on wednesday night.

at that point of time i was like oh boy, this is payback for all the procrastination… a warning from the people above, if you will. but then again, it might be the devil on my shoulder telling me that i should have bought a set of noise-isolating headphones (cos earphones are a bit too uncomfortable to wear for too long) or a new laptop, so i could have escaped to the library to work or something.

so yeah, either i’m not supposed to procrastinate anymore, or i’m supposed to just splurge on the stuff i want/need.

i’m inclined to believe it’s the former, though, especially after what happened earlier… all i can think is, thank goodness i live in hall and that i decided to go and hand in my work as early as possible

because, after spending $12 printing out my work at the laser printers at the library, i realised that i’d managed to save my files into the wrong format, which made them all low-resolution and come out pixelated when printed. like fug, right? then i went to the NM lab and there was whew, illustrator there. EXCEPT that because all the files are linked, i couldn’t just open up the illustrator files to reprint them at higher resolutions.

like oh fug, right? it gets better. so i walked back to hall and then my body decided it was a good time to get a bad stomachache. at this point of time i was starting to REALLY panick. i quickly re-exported the files to pdf, and was about to head back to the CNM lab when i had another surprise when i realised that in my haste to return earlier, i’d left my thumbdrive in the lab. the only good thing is that it was still there later.

anyway, i finally managed to get the printing done, though i swear this module is damn tiring and bordering on nuts.

the conclusion is, i am now officially afraid of procrastination. i don’t mean the little bits here and there, since those rarely screw me over. i mean the rest… and yes i’m really scared because i’m afraid that if i totally procrastinate again, i will end up in pretty deep shit… so yes, less procrastination from yours truly in future.

and since i’m about to fall asleep like now, this is where i shall end. oh wait, i need to rejoice and announce that i got the jap history module for only 1 point! yipee! now i can graduate with like, 5000 points in my programme account. lol.

if

and i’m back to my ‘vampire’ sleeping habits…

it’s raining now, which makes for perfect sleeping weather. except that i’m not even remotely sleepy. in fact, i feel kinda insomniac at the moment.

i still haven’t gotten to reworking my assignments for the portfolio. designing and creating artwork becomes a chore when it’s homework. or well, when it’s work.

it’s been quite a long time since i felt like this. duh, i already knew. so why does it still bother me? oh well. all i can do is hope that i get caught up in work (ha, as if) and forget about it, somehow.

i still need to return my overdue library books, and also get that long overdue haircut. i’m just wondering if i should just go back to sengkang so i can go to my regular stylist, and return my books at the same time. on the other hand, i do kinda feel like i want/need a change. guess i’ll see what i feel like when i wake up later (probably lazy. which was what happened today.)

finding out that my dad has diabetes now makes me worried. apparently it does run in the family… and honestly, i’d rather die than have diabetes, if it means bland food for the rest of my life. what’s the point in living a life you can’t enjoy? and yes, worried enough to make me want to go to the gym. i’m tempted to just join fitness first but i’m afraid that i’ll end up wasting my parents’ money if i don’t go often enough. and yet i can’t muster up enough un-laziness to check out the temporary gym at the guild house.

there is also the matter of needing to get new shoes. the old pair of asics, like a lot of my belongings, is almost 3 years old and i also left it at home. plus, it’s obviously not meant for my feet because my arches hurt when i exercise in them. i already have my eye on a pair of asics which are supposedly good for flat feet, plus it’s only $143, which is kinda cheap for a pair of asics. guess i’ll see when i can drag myself down to queensway to buy them…

the rain has stopped… and i guess i’ll stop here too. can’t think of anything to say without sounding too weird. ha.

If I could be the chains I’d fall from you and let you fly like an angel
If I could be the pain I’d run from you, so far away
If I could turn the time back just one day, it might just be enough to say
All the things I’ve never said to you

And what you don’t know won’t hurt you
What you don’t show will kill you
What you don’t know won’t hurt you
What you don’t show will kill you

butch walker, if (jeannie’s song)

so useless, so hopeless.

idekwilf.

move me

sigh. time has gone by so quickly, it is already that time of the holidays when we have to move back to our regular allocated rooms. i am more than happy to shift back to D215 (no more insanely bright sunlight in the morning! correct room orientation! less walking needed to reach the D2 toilet!) but you know me, i hate moving. i just hate having to pack up everything, move, and then unpack again. at least this will be the last time i move, before i move out once and for all…

in any case, i’ve been really busy with NM2208, mainly because there is an assignment due every monday and thursday. so far i’ve kind of rushed through my work, it’s a miracle that they actually appear half-decent. i just have problems going back to alter them according to some of the suggestions given by my tutorial mates. out of sheer laziness and all that jazz. and well, if you want to see the work i’ve been doing for the module, just head over to http://deesigns.wordpress.com

and sigh at the thought that when school starts again, it’ll be my final year. and we all know how quickly a year passes… before i know it, i’ll be preparing for commencement and getting ready for the harsh realities of the working world… darn. well, i’ll just hope the time will pass slowly, then.

…… and already, i can’t think of anything else to say. oh wait, there is something. charmaine sheh is coming to singapore again! i wonder if i should go all fangirl and head down to see her again. haha.

okay yes, actually i have stuff to say. i’ve watched quite a lot of jap dramas during these holidays (and during the semester, too)! mainly those with actors/actresses i like, or those which are kinda famous. here’s a list (and my comments), in no particular order:

Great Teacher Onizuka:
this was pretty good. takashi sorimachi was really cool, plus the theme song was nice. poison totally got stuck in my head (and my brother’s, because i watched it in his room) cos of this show. and there was a very young oguri shun! he looks better now, i think… lol.

Code Blue:
medical drama with yamashita tomohisa (aka yamapi) and 2 other actresses whom i rather like. a bit too bloody/gory for me (yes i’m a bit squeamish about blood and all) but it was a pretty good drama on the whole. good acting (and crying skills) from yamapi, as usual. actually, this is almost entirely non-romantic but i like it that way. especially after grey’s anatomy and healing hands makes it seem impossible that people who work in the same hospital can have *gasp* platonic relationships.

Proposal Daisakusen!:
this is one of those kinda unrealistic jap dramas, but i like it all the same because it was kinda funny, and also romantic-ish. i did want to throttle yamapi whenever he was just like sooo useless. but at the same time i felt sad for him la. haha. yeah, i liked this series.

Atashinchi no Danshi:
i watched this because it was popular on mysoju and because it has horikita maki! yes, she’s one of my favourite actresses. again, a slightly not-quite-believable storyline but it’s quite good cos it’s funny and slightly intriguing. and oh boy can japanese dramas totally transform their actors and actresses! i didn’t realise that the 2nd brother (the biker gang guy) was mizuki’s brother in hana kimi until i clicked here and there at wiki.d-addicts.com! horikita maki is not bad here, but i think i like her in hana kimi better :D

Bloody Monday:
i watched this on the recommendation of my friend, and it is quite a good thriller/suspense series. quite a lot of twists and shocking moments, which i liked. the hacking bits were kinda too fake for me, though… lol.

Nodame Cantabile: my enjoyment of this series was slightly marred by how i went to go and read the entire manga series before finishing the drama series. on the whole, i quite liked it, even if the slapstick was a bit too much (i guess it was keeping in line with the manga, but that doesn’t always translate well to drama). but chiaki-senpai was good here :D

Densha Otoko: apparently this is quite famous, so i tried watching it, and it’s pretty good. i liked the opening theme (twilight by electric light orchestra) so much, i downloaded the song. it’s both funny and awww at the same time, plus you just couldn’t help rooting for yamada.

Bambino!:
matsumoto jun, and LOTS of pasta. i got hungry watching this one, as expected. on the whole this was quite entertaining, if slightly unbelievable – my beef is how the serving staff practically dance when they’re serving dishes. maybe i need to go to japan and see if there really are restaurants with such ‘power’ waiting staff. and oh yeah, his girlfriend was not pretty so i just didn’t feel anything for them. romance factor = 0. but oh well, the pasta is more important!

Hana Kimi:
yes, i rewatched it lol. and realised that for some reason i didn’t watch the special episode. weird. well, this one is still good even though i’ve watched it before! :D

after my deluge of jap dramas (my drama obsession before the jap dramas was chuck. i LOVE chuck!), i’ve gone back to TVB again.

The Silver Chamber of Sorrows was on TV whenever i went back home, and it intrigued me so much i went to watch it. there are no really big name actors and actresses (save for the old ones like paul chun, nancy sit and the ngai tin hang guy) but i thought this was a pretty good typical TVB kind of series. the script was good and the acting was generally solid. paul chun in particular was very good, cos he totally succeeded in bringing out the hatefulness of his character. his evil, sneering look is quite good, i must say.

at the moment, i’m watching Last One Standing, with roger kwok, kevin cheng and yoyo mung, and boy is it good! the plot is quite nice and not-so-predictable, plus roger’s acting is damn good. i was talking to yy about this and we both agreed that his evil look is damn scary, to the point that he looks downright psychotic at times! since he’s mostly in comedy-ish series, this is the first time i’ve seen him in an evil role, and i think it’s great for him because it demonstrates his versatility. now, if only there was a series where bobby is the villain… the same goes for charmaine, i want to see her play an evil character too!

okay, i think this is enough for now… this is a long entry that contains practically nothing about me. lol. time to work on the class exercise now, i suppose. unfortunately i won’t be going home for the weekend, because i need to work on the assignment due on monday, and going home means i get zero work done simply because my laptop can’t run photoshop and illustrator. oh well.

in other news, i will be acquiring a new timbuk2 bag soon! it fits laptop so i can just bring one bag out in future. it cost me over a hundred bucks, but knowing the longevity of timbuk2s (my black/grey/silver is still going strong, save for ugly pen marks inside the bag) i think it’s money well-spent. i can’t wait for it to arrive!

ok, time to work! or maybe sleep. haha.

and i’ll try to savour every moment of it…

hard disk crash :(((

oh fuck. i came back from my CNM class to find that i couldn’t turn on my desktop, with an ominous “DISK BOOT FAILURE, INSERT SYSTEM DISK AND PRESS ENTER” message.

despite restarting my desktop a few times, the message remained. i gave up and connected my laptop so i could google and see if this was a solvable problem…

and it’s not. i called up the place i got my desktop from, and they confirmed that it was likely a hard disk crash. since it’s still under warranty, they can just send over and install another hard disk for me, no problem.

the problem is that this happened before my scheduled backups kicked in. which leaves me with NO backups of my programme settings, some of the miscellaneous files i created that don’t fall under the folders i chose to backup, i can say bye to my itunes playlists and a chunk of my music (some of which i deleted when i moved them over to my laptop, because the hard disk there was too small)… ARGH MY PROGRAMMES AND ALL THEIR SETTINGS ARE GONE!!!

gone gone gone. and when i try to remember what exactly i had put in (it takes time to set up everything nicely), i can’t freaking remember anything. the saying about how you don’t miss stuff till they’re gone is TOTALLY true. i miss my desktop already :( why why why why why did the drive with the programme settings and all have to fail??? it would have been really painful if the extra one (with all my movies, dramas, etc) died but at least i could just slowly download stuff back. why did i NOT backup all my settings??? why did i only set my backups to run every two weeks? WHY???

and now i have completely like no mood to do anything. all i can think about is, my hard disk died. my hard disk died. my hard disk died :((((((((

and yes, i know it could have been worse, like me not having a usable laptop (thank goodness i reformatted it!) or it happening like after i’d finished some assignment for NM2208. ARGH now that i think of it, maybe the module cursed me, what with all their talk of hard disk crashes and excuses… arghhhhhhhhhhhhh.

as you can tell, i am very upset. i am pretty much depressed now. i could possibly send the hard disk for data recovery, but seeing that it’s probably a physical failure, it’ll cost a bomb. and as much as i need those settings back, i don’t think it’s really worth a few hundred bucks… SIGH. and then there are those files which i somehow DID NOT BACKUP and are not of like monetary value but extremely important to me (SO WHY DID I FORGET TO BACK IT UP?)…

sigh. i suppose what is gone is gone… and from now on and i will very religiously back up my stuff. time to get ANOTHER external hard disk (yes, i’m that paranoid now) so i can completely back up my C:\ drive in future.

someone up there must hate me, somehow :(((

i have no motivation to do anything now. i think i will just take a shower, sleep and hope that somehow my hard disk will be okay again when i wake up… :((((

me in flickr pictures.

saw this on the LJ of my sec 4 classmate yiwen, and i was kinda bored, so…

a. Type your answer to each of the questions below into Flickr Search.
b. Using only the first page, pick an image.
c. Copy and paste each of the URLs for the images into fd’s mosaic maker.

1. What is your first name?
2. What is your favorite food?
3. What high school did you go to?
4. What is your favorite color?
5. Who is your celebrity crush?
6. Favorite drink?
7. Dream vacation?
8. Favorite dessert?
9. What you want to be when you grow up?
10. What do you love most in life?
11. One word to describe you.
12. Your flickr name.

1. - – EELING TUNNEL, 2. the Ultimate Beef Burger, 3. Anderson Bridge before sunrise, 4. green sea of chairs, 5. Depp, Johnny, 6. Apple Juice, 7. New York, New York!, 8. fro-yo, 9. no ideas, 10. Think, food., 11. the procrastinator, 12. Irrational Rainbow

—

hmmm, now i’m craving frozen yoghurt. again.

and it makes me wanna throw up

darnit. i hate how my body clock is totally screwed up now. i’m supposed to go to work at the library at 10am, and here i am, STILL awake at 7.16am. help.

it’s not my fault, really. just as my efforts at recalibrating it were kinda working, i went and had the flu on tuesday night… or actually, wednesday morning, at like midnight. anyway, it’s the post-exam sickness, i swear. if you happen to not fall ill despite all the stress and lack of sleep during the exam period, don’t feel too lucky yet, because your body is just saving it all up for one big bout of flu or something to take revenge for the poor nutrition and unhealthy living habits you imposed on it while ’studying’ for the exams.

or at least i think that’s what my body does to me.

anyway, feel free to skip the later bits, it’s just about me getting the flu. so exciting. well actually, i’m trying to make myself sleepy since there is no school now and there are no readings i can use (i threw most of them away already) to make myself fall asleep with now. you’ve been warned.

i wanna know what it’s like / on the inside of love

just a fyi for the few of you who still read my blog:

i seldom blog now, but i still twitter a lot, so in the event that you want to find out what random thoughts i have all day, do check out http://twitter.com/eerational (if you already have me on facebook, the updates are exactly the same, though).

also, i now own eerational.com! only for a year, but still. i’ve ported my blog over to http://blog.eerational.com but i’m not quite sure what i’m going to do there yet, but you can check it out anyway if you want :D

and sigh, i just have to complain/whine about how i hate the fact that my holiday room is of a completely different orientation… yes, i know i should just suck it up but argh!!! everything that was on my right is now on my left… and now i have to change the layout of my desktop/monitor/speakers setup too. bother. and as always, moving is a bitch. i spent an hour cleaning the room (it wasn’t that bad, until i started cleaning under the bed, where the dirt and dust made my feet turn black), which was followed by over two more hours of shifting and unpacking stuff… and i’m only about 25% done. i’ll save the rest for tomorrow evening because everything else is ‘essential’ (and therefore should be moved last) and i don’t want to move my clothes when i’m already kinda grimy and gross.

but on the bright side, there is still how i met your mother to bring me good cheer. i think it’s really good, and can’t quite believe i didn’t start earlier. but better late than never! also, the soft serve from MOF is totally awesome. i went with yy and maryam today after lunch at the food centre, and oh boy… it’s just so damn good. it’s like heaven in a cup, and when i eat it i feel like all my worries are gone and the world is a wonderful place to be in… seriously. go try it if you haven’t! it’s 20% off on weekdays and a soft serve cone (LOTS of soft serve in a cone, duh. simple but oh-so-good) only costs $2.20. trust me when i say no other soft serve will cut it after you try MOF’s! i’m already thinking about when i can go and get another mof soft serve… haha!

okay, time to go take a shower, watch an episode (or two) of HIMYM and then sleep so i can try and wake up in time to go and stare at microfilms tomorrow… i still dread the evening when i have to pack/move/unpack some more… :( and oh yes, exams. i think i screwed up for everything but SSA2211 (and maybe even IT1003?) but oh well, who cares, i’m not bothering till 29 may. yup that’s it for now, see you guys over at twitter! ;)

if music be the food of love, play on

argh! i keep forgetting that stupid wordpress somehow always gives me a blank post when i publish something new. and so i have to write this all over again… argh. re-blogging is never the same, darnit.

anyway, i wanted to blog about my parents. about how i take them for granted sometimes, and how i sometimes feel like they don’t really care that much, since i’m in hall most of the time and they seldom call to ask about how i am, how’s everything and all. i do enjoy the independence but of course i sometimes want to know that they care.

but when they travel half an hour from their workplace (and like an hour, if they come from home) to bring me lunch or dinner and the homemade apple and orange juice i really like, i know that they do care and that yes, despite all my doubts and the arguments that sometimes break out at home, i am loved.

the angry quarrels we sometimes have illustrates how my mum and dad are not exactly what i would consider perfect parents. but hey, like shanta put on her facebook status yesterday, i’m far from perfect, too. so it all evens out, yes?

so yes, the chicken rice from boon tong kee, the apple and orange juice and the surprise box of bird’s nest really made my day :)

and i guess i should go and sleep now so i can try to wake up before noon tomorrow… i mean today.

2 more papers to go and then temporary freedom because i have to getting ready to move… sigh i hate hate hate hate hate moving. i can’t wait for the exams to end so i can go out and have nice, good food. i want my mexican and indian food. and good pasta. okay better stop now before i make myself hungry.

all that i do, comes back to you

this is utterly retarded. for some reason my entry just disappeared.

anyway, i was like all ARGH cos i just can’t seem to get started on the 3000 word essay even though it’s due like, later today. FUG.

i don’t get why it’s so damned difficult for me to just open up a new MS word window and just start typing. maybe it’s because i know it’s going to be a crappy essay… sigh.

okay, stop your whining and get writing! you are going to finish up this lame, time-wasting blog entry, restart your desktop and then WRITE.

but before that, this is my song of the moment, which i am compelled to share. (right-click and select “save target/link as…” to download)

I know you’re not asleep
I can feel you moving over there
You’ve been playing with the seam
In your worn out underwear
My lips are raw as hell
From biting on them just to stay awake
It’s not like I’m gonna need them, you won’t be around
To see them bleed and break

All that I do, comes back to you
So I’ll just think about you
’til there’s nothing in my head
All I can do, is try not to screw this up again
And just be friends, I’d rather be dead

I drove out of east Atlanta
With a headache the size of my car
I called to say I was okay anyway
‘Cause I know how you are
I’m like a movie without an ending
You know I’ve got nowhere to go
And it makes me wanna throw up
To see you wanna give up
More than you’ll ever know

All that I do, comes back to you
So I’ll just think about you
’til there’s nothing in my head
All I can do, is try not to screw this up again
And just be friends, I’d rather be dead

Everything’s supposed to have a happy ending
But the record keeps skipping and the needle keeps bending
Like the road I’m driving to the bridge that has no end
I wanna take back everything that I’ve broken
But the bridges behind me are burning and smokin’
I guess this is the end

All that I do, comes back to you
So I’ll just think about you
’til there’s nothing in my head
All I can do, is try not to screw this up again
And just be friends, I’d rather be dead

butch walker, cigarette lighter love song (live at atlanta)