imulc.

parents are back from bangkok and the best part about their being back is that they bear boxes of dunkin’ donuts :D:D:D

but apart from that they didn’t really shop much… wish i was there so i could shop like mad. oh well.

and my lunch today at marche was of course sponsored by my aunt, so i was a bit more indulgent than usual… tried the meat loaf set there, which was not bad but not really special, either. it was kinda like luncheon meat, but nicer. but the mashed potato rocked, as did the stir-fried veggies (lotsa cabbage and beansprouts for me!) and my single but sinful scoop of hazelnut ice cream. mmm.

and then we had a trip to books kinokuniya where my aunt also inevitably gets a book (or two, if you’re lucky/greedy) for everyone. it took me a long time to decide on the genre of what book i should get itself, let alone what book. i couldn’t decide between yet another thriller, chicklit, vaguely philosophical/classic books or a general knowledge book like the world was flat or freakonomics.

and in the end the thriller won out… again. and a very nice black copy of jeffrey deaver’s maidens’ graves now sits in my puny collection of novels. thank goodness i didn’t get the robin cook one, which i almost bought because the blurb was actually quite different from the one i already have at home. and tess gerritsen is starting to sound rather intriguing, too, especially the maura isles/jane rizzoli series thing. am going to dig around sengkang library for a tess gerritsen tomorrow, since the two books by her i’ve read so far (gravity and the sinner) have been good.

am going to have my last driving lesson for some time tomorrow, which is good cos i think i really need a break from driving. i guess going down to compasspoint two, three times a week to have the instructor tell me i’m looking at all the wrong places, am still not turning properly etc gets kinda tiring after a while. it’ll be nice to really really just laze at home. or finally haul my lazy ass down for some exercise now that i don’t have the excuse that i might be too tired for driving later on. hmmm.

am temporarily at a loss for words… so this is it.

when i pull myself together again

YES!!!

my baby t488d computer is coming back to me today, unreformatted, upgraded to 768mb ram and best of all, WORKING!

yay yay yay. am going to judiciously back up everything remotely important now, to both the external hard disk and to CD-Rs. that’s what a total computer crash does to me, it makes me ridiculously paranoid. but yayyy. it’s a bit sluggish at startup and has its own quirks, but at least all the buttons on my keyboard work -glares at the down arrow and delete buttons on the laptop- and all my mp3s sound better on the generic harman/kardon speakers than on the holes on the laptop masquerading as speakers.

the food at marche on saturday was okay, but at least the company was better. was nice to see jieyi and hsienjun after having last seen them in MARCH, and catching up with my 72 buddy aiping after not seeing her for weeks and hardly seeing her online now. and georgia was very very very late! we’d all finished eating when she made her appearance? tsk. but oh well. birthday-girl-to-be gets special privileges i suppose :P

we walked around a bit before catching up with aiping, jieyi, yijun and hsienjun at mini toons, which was actively promoting the sorta creepy voodoo doll thing. i kind of like the one with the screws in the head, but the eyes are just way too creepy for me. mark then made his appearance, and it seemed like he was chasing everyone away because aiping and jieyi left for home almost immediately after, and yijun and hsienjun soon followed suit. haha, just kidding.

and of course, whenever we meet up with mark we never fail to ask him how many pull-ups he can do now. and it’s a rather respectable eight pull-ups now! which is like a more than 800% improvement considering that he could hardly even do one before… haha. we wanted to go for dessert at ben&jerry’s but it was too crowded so we headed for coffee bean instead. where i got georgia her birthday presents in the form of a chicago cheesecake (there was no new york cheesecake) and a regular pure chocolate. me and yy shared a mix-n-match again, with cookie dough, dublin mudslide and chunky monkey. and cookie dough just rocks. i just love the cookie dough bits to bits, and no i’ll never get tired of saying that. haha.

and being lazy, we shared a cab home since we were all kinda heading the same area. mark and maryam in ang mo kio, me and georgia in hougang since she was going to daryl’s place. and we had ridiculous conversations in the cab, with mark and georgia eventually agreeing to get together if they ever broke up with their respective significant others. me and maryam are witnesses, and here’s the blog to back me up in case they ever back out of their sordid agreement… hahaha.

am gonna go jam on the ps2 while i wait for my computer to come back to me :D

if.

and what you don’t know won’t hurt you
what you don’t show will won’t kill you

have decided that i’m just not going to think about it anymore.

in your shoes now.

hey mr curiosity,
is it true what they’ve been saying about you?
are you killing me?
you took care of the cat already
and for those who think it’s heavy
is the truth, or is it only gossip?

and sometimes too much knowledge is just overkill. curiosity killed the cat, and now it’s killing me too. i’m completely confounded by the facts laid out in front of me. if they are in fact, facts, that is. it doesn’t make sense at all and i wish i’d never found out. guess it’s sorta kinda karmic retribution, eh.
i can only hope that it isn’t true. but then again… so what if it is? knowing myself, i doubt something like that will really deter me. i’d reconsider the whole thing, but i’ll be back at it again. it’ll hurt, but i’ll live.

am trying my very best to not think about it at all, but i couldn’t stop it from seeping into my consciousness at the beginning of driving today. which resulted in rather distracted driving from me, but thankfully i didn’t crash the car or anything like that. i went up the slope today, and i guess i did fairly well cos i mostly mastered it in a lesson. and while i totally cannot grasp the concept of wheel differentials and tracks for the narrow courses, i still somehow managed to do the S and crank courses passably well. i’ll probably need more practice if i don’t want to fail my driving test, but at least i’ve mostly got it down. i doubt i’ll master parking and its parallel counterpart so soon, though. and i didn’t book any lessons for june, either… think i’ll take a short break and see if i can get any lessons in late june or early july. and hope that i’ll pass my final theory or i’ll never get to book my practical test…

i’ve also been having a particularly nasty cluster of migraines, ever since the bad one on tuesday. the one on wednesday was especially painful, because my sister studying in our room (and refusing to study anywhere else) meant i couldn’t get the sleep i needed. so my migraine grew from “manageable” to “excruciating”. i think it’s one of the worst i’ve ever had, even. and then it came again on thursday. i managed to nap it off, although i did still feel rather light-headed when i went for the food fair thing at expo with my mum. damned migraines. if i ever had the chance to permanently rid myself of an ailment, it’ll definitely be migraines, no contest needed.

and maybe all the migraines are really getting to my head, because i’ve been having odd dreams too. and for the first time ever, i clearly dreamed of four digits. two sets of them, even. i’d dreamed that i bought 4D, and my mum told me that getting three out of four digits was still a win, and that i’d won like 23,000 bucks? haha. i remember thinking YES i can get new earphones now, and hoping (twice) that i wasn’t dreaming. but unfortunately for me, i was… oh well. i told m mum and she went to buy the numbers, so if i’m really really really lucky… you never know eh ;)

oh well. i’m not the same person i was a year ago, so i won’t go off moping again. am just going to look forward to seeing people i haven’t seen in AGES. like jieyi, aiping and hsienjun. and the people i’ve seen rather recently but still miss anyway :)

when i find out who i am

and interestingly enough, things don’t always go the way you expect. driving wasn’t as bad as i’d thought it’ll be, mainly because i wasn’t doing test routes and because i seem to have recovered some of my confidence. but well i can’t be sure that it’ll last so we’ll see what happens later on today.

and the movie outing started out nicely, but ended on a rather bad note because i got hit by a monstrous migraine during the movie. and i become very bad company with that kind of headache because i’d feel like puking, i wouldn’t be able to move around and i’d hardly feel like talking at all. but i did feel better after denise, maryam and yy brought (i was about to say dragged, haha.) me to starbucks for some quiet and warm water. and where denise also gleefully concluded that i was pregnant since i was nauseous and wanted sour plums… yeah right. if i was pregnant whenever i felt nauseous, i’d have a houseful of kids by now.

and denise was TERRIBLE. as in, terribly late. we were supposed to meet at 12, and when i messaged her at about 12.05pm, she was just getting out of the house!!! and there i was, thinking that at least denise wouldn’t be as late as gayle usually is… sometimes i want to just not be early or punctual, but it seems like there’s some switch in me that just won’t let me willfully be late.

anyway denise finally arrived (with some confusion between the both of us over where the other person was) and we headed for wheelock place so denise could check out the birkenstock shop and see if she could fit her feet into the narrow-width madrids (she could). lunch for us was at nydc, where denise had roast chicken spaghetti and i had a three amigos baked pasta. which was not bad, but nothing to really rave about. we walked around a bit more, stopping at sun moulin so denise could get her little breads before heading to cine to buy our tickets and for a bit of dessert in the form of subway cookies. which i fear that i may be allergic to, because it seems that i get a bit sick whenever i eat those. boohoo. why subway cookies???

anyway we finally met up with maryam and yy, where they got their lunch to smuggle into the cinema and where we also got our drinks at cheers. me and denise shared a 1-litre packet of marigold apple juice, because it was so cheap… haha. and it being one of my most favourite beverages ever, i couldn’t help drinking lots of it despite denise warning me that i’d end up badly needing the loo at the end of the movie. which really did happen, but well the juice is just too good la huh.

and unfortunately the movie wasn’t really good. maybe it’s because i’ve read the book and already know most of the twists and revelations of the story, but the excitement factor really wasn’t there, and the movie was a bit too draggy at bits. and while it did clear up one or two bits of information for me, i didn’t really like the litle bits they chopped and changed. like the council of shadows, langdon becoming skeptical about the whole holy grail business and worst of all, sophie asking langdon if he could solve the “so dark the con of man” anagram, like she didn’t know how to do it at all!!! they made her seem so lousy, like she was only good for being the half-trained senechal and “guardian of the grail” teabing kept calling her.

and the actors were another thing. tom hanks is quite unfortunately for me, just not robert langdon. for one, he’s not good-looking enough and for another he just doesn’t give off the langdon vibe. and silas wasn’t creepy or albino enough, either. he was scary in the book, but just seemed like a rather mad man. and he wasn’t albino enough in the sense that he wasn’t pale enough, nor were his eyes red, which would definitely have made him seem a lot creepier. and while ian mckellen was nothing like the teabing i’d imagined, he was still a rather good teabing, because he was funny and totally mad about revealing the grail secrets at the right times. and audrey tautou was good as sophie because… well, she’s just pretty. haha. she looks so good with long hair in the movie that it totally erases her image as the somewhat wacky amelie in the movie of the same name, and makes me want to watch her other movies to see just how good of an actress she really is.

anyway, the bottomline for the movie is that i think you’d be better off with dan brown’s words and your imagination for the sheer excitement factor. the book is fantastically good on the first read, can’t say the same for the movie…

and yawn. am feeling sleepy now because i didn’t really have a good night’s sleep earlier in the morning. after nearly four hours of sleeping off most of my migraine it was hard for me to sleep, and the room temperature just had to disagree with me. with the fan turned off i’d be perspiring but with it on i’d be sneezing like mad. after tossing and turning for quite some time i realised that it might be my old OP tshirt and went to change out of it. and voila, sleep came quite easily after that. i’ll never ever sleep in OP tshirts anymore, NWO tshirts have established themselves as the best tshirts to sleep in, hehe.

and whineee, i’m really hungry now. when’s my lunch coming???

when i find out who i am
i’m gonna know just what to do
when i pull myself together again
i’m gonna give myself to you

is this forever?
this feeling i got,
not enough and too much
so free and so caught up,
in something and nothing
both at the same time
i’m either out of my head
or i’m out of my mind

when i find out who i am
i’m gonna know just what to do
when i pull myself together again
i’m gonna give myself to you

is this forever?
this feeling that i’m not moving at all
but i just can’t stop it
it’s like i’m dreaming
and i’m wide awake too
will you remember me
cos i won’t forget you

when i find out who i am
i’m gonna know just what to do
when i pull myself together again
i’m gonna give myself to you

i guess i was saving my life for later
when maybe i should’ve been giving myself to you
now i will, but i got to find out who i am before i do
before i do

when i find out who i am
i’m gonna know just what to do
when i pull myself together again
i’m gonna give myself to you

when i find out who i am
i’m gonna know just what to do
when i pull myself together again i know
i’m gonna give myself to you
i’m gonna give myself to you
i’m gonna give myself to you
[train: give myself to you]

cos train just rocks :)

sometimes i think i’m the only cab on the road.

am terribly bored now, and logically i should just go and sleep now, but i just don’t feel like it, either. i’m just not sleepy now.

i think the fass@nus thing today was better than the nus openhouse. for one it was a lot less crowded, and for another it really did give us information about the various programmes within fass. i technically don’t need to really think about it yet, but i’m already in a serious dilemma over what i should major in. it’s basically down to history and sociology, i think.

history has just always been interesting, and it’s very familiar ground, considering how carolyn has actually imparted us most of the skills she learned at nus. they were explaining what kind of skills they were going to teach us, and me and maryam were like ehhh why does it sound suspiciously like what carolyn has drilled into us already? and it’s only today that i had a real idea of how good a teacher carolyn really is. i’m just afraid that i might get bored of history after a while, seeing as how it’s practically impossible for me to have a sustained interest in anything.

but i want to delve into sociology too. to read and find out about what makes society tick, to twist my brain over definitions and impressions that i have long taken for granted… it’s so undeniably attractive, too. and there’s also political science, psychology and economics also beckoning to me… sigh.

and of course it’s funny how i feel like i want to learn about everything now, but when term starts i’ll probably want to ditch work to just laze and slack around. typical me. but i can’t wait for uni to start, anyway. it’ll be a new yet familiar experience, considering that we’re definitely going to see some familiar faces at fass, judging from the number of old class and schoolmates we saw today at nus already. which i think is the best of both worlds – you’ll get to widen your social circle while retaining old friends. anyway i shall just shut up about wanting time to pass faster, because it’ll be august before i know it, and i might not have a chance in a long long time to have nice lazy days like i’m having now.

lunch for me and maryam was cheap, good pasar malam food. interestingly enough the first ramly burger stall we came upon was manned by the very person who cooked my first taste of a ramly burger! from hougang to clementi, wow. and anyway i knew that person was good so we bought our sinfully delicious ramly burgers from there. and since it was too hot for us to eat immediately, we passed the time by having “special ice cream”, which is basically various soft drinks frozen to popsicles in this huge metallic tub. it’s a very old school thing, and quite fun to eat. and there were lots of flavours too. like the classic coke, sprite, zappel… they even had kickapoo! haha. i need to try that sometime. we then walked around to complete our meals – me with a bottle of bandung and some cup corn, and maryam with otah. pasar malam food just rocks. it’s not very healthy but it’s just fun to eat. i hope a pasar malam comes to my area soon, i’m really craving steamed peanuts now…

and the rebellion of all my electronic products against me has started again, with my sony earphones taking up the gauntlet by losing the sound in one side of the earphones. AGAIN! it happened with the older pair but at least i’d used the earphones for sometime. i’ve only used this pair for three months and it’s already spoilt? what the hell? i fired off an email to sony asking them if they had any sort of warranty because there wasn’t any warranty card in the box at all. and if they don’t replace it for me, then i’ll learn my lesson and get cheaper earphones next time. it’s just so pissifying to have it spoil like that after paying 90 freaking bucks for it. arghhh.

am looking forward and not looking forward to next week. am not looking forward to driving, but am looking forward to tuesday, where i’ll be meeting denise for lunch and a possible visit to triquetra tuition centre, and watching the da vinci code after that with her, maryam and yy.

and i would also be looking forward to celebrating georgia’s and yijun’s birthday next saturday, BUT lots of people still haven’t replied to my message at all. which is really starting to irk me. i know my many messages are annoying but how hard is it to reply and say that you’re not going if you’re not??? just type “no i’m not going” into your phone and send it, as simple as that. your excuse or reason for not going is just an optional extra that i’ll appreciate but don’t actually need because i just want to know who’s going and who’s not. sigh. guess i’ll be calling people up tomorrow, instead of sending yet another mass message that will not garner any replies, anyway.

in any case, just in case it was my fault and that my phone malfunctioned and didn’t send out one or two messages, we’ll be celebrating yijun’s (belated) and georgia’s birthdays on the coming saturday (27 may), in the late afternoon or early evening. the location is tentatively marche, unless someone thinks of a better (must be halal) alternative. and the “we” for now is only me, georgia, yijun, maryam, yy, aiping and jieyi. jasper is the only one who has explained his possible absence so you know who have yet to reply…

and i’ll end off with yet another train song, i still can’t get enough of them, heh.

new york snow this time of year
there’s nothing more beautiful to me
except for you
making my way on the town
and i’m seeing familiar places, and faces
in my pile of coffee grounds

the days are better, the nights are still so lonely
sometimes i think i’m the only cab on the road
sometimes i think i’m the only cab on the road

watching my breath rise in the sun
pulling myself in two made one
helplessly feel for my phone and drive away

this new rhythm i pursue
is just my getting over you
telling myself that i need to

the days are better, the nights are still so lonely
sometimes i think i’m the only cab on the road
sometimes i think i’m the only cab on the road

i’m still looking for a play
no one said that it was fair
to be alone

the days are better, the nights are still so lonely
sometimes i think i’m the only cab on the road

the days are better, the nights are still so lonely
sometimes i think i’m the only cab on the road
sometimes i think i’m the only cab on the road
[train: cab]

get out.

wahlao. my dad’s wonky laptop nearly gave me a heart attack when it told me that my external hard disk was an unknown device and that it was malfunctioning after it hung halfway through my transfer of music from my ipod to it. i panicked, restarted the laptop and it still gave me the same message. i was really starting to break out in a cold sweat, because the prospect of not having my valuable backups in the event that my desktop comes back reformatted is just head-bangingly frustrating.

in a fit of desperation i carted in my sister’s laptop (without her permission because she was already sleeping) and plugged in the hard disk, hoping fervently with my fingers crossed that it would please work… and hallelujah, it did! no words can express the extreme relief i felt at that moment. WHEW.

and the only advantage or pleasure i have derived from using the laptop (apart from having a medium with which i’m connected to the internet, that is. i’m starting to sound a bit like case from neuromancer, heh.) is that i get to use a new wallpaper since i don’t have that many icons now. and so instead of staring at cloud strife’s computer-generated face, i get to gaze at alan smith (still in all his bleached hair goodness) with the added bonus of cristiano ronaldo (who manages to look okay in the picture, even with almost-invisible braces) and erhhh. two other people in the background who i can’t recognise cos their faces are a bit obscured. oh well. alan smith is more than enough, anyway :D

and anyway, to sort of solve my problem of not being able to listen to my train album except on my ipod, i checked out sembawang music store at compasspoint after driving, to see if they might have the album… and they did, and since i like the album so much, i decided to splurge (splurge because my albums usually cost $0.00…) and get the cd. see? i’m not that bad of a pirate, i do buy cds that i really like. providing that they don’t cost like 30, 40 bucks, of course. which is by far the most annoying (and only) drawback to listening to mildly obscure bands. though i don’t get why they’re obscure in the first place, cos they’re so good.

and i guess i should be heading for bed now, considering that i have to wake up really really early tomorrow to meet maryam and check out what the various majors in nus fass have to offer. and nus is still admittedly seeming too far, considering that i’m like acks at the long travel time now… yes i’ll be at the hostel/PGP when i go to nus, but that probably means i’ll be reluctant to come back home. unless it’s to bring back extra laundry or something, me being the mildly spoilt brat i am… haha.

i know you turned your back on mother nature
for everything she puts you through
she wakes up everyday and tries to greet you
i’m hoping that you’ll make it through

i called every morning,
tried to reach you,
and waited for your Saturday.
with sunshine, divine, i come running,
i’m a change a’ heart away…

get out, get out
let the mornin’ break in you
get out
and i won’t run unless i’m running after you

thought that he would be a high-class mover.
well, he’s high now mover,
but his class ain’t new.
you were born to be a ballerina,
so you danced your way to hollywood
well dancin’s what you got,
but not like you wanted,
not like you wanted anything

get out, get out
let the mornin’ break in you
get out
and i won’t run unless i’m running after you

on the big sky, nothing at the top,
so stop and get a good look, at this miracle
on the big line, nothin’ up above, just love,
so get a good look at this miracle…
cos this miracle’s you
this miracle’s you

get out, get out
let the mornin’ break in you
get out
and i won’t run unless i’m running after you
[train: get out]

i love this song cos it’s so… bubbly? lively? can’t really think of a word, but it’s full of positive energy which almost makes me want to get out and get some exercise or something. and positive energy’s always good, considering how negative i can get these days.

is the sound of my heart breaking down.

sighhh. one of the worst possible things that could ever happen to me has happened – my computer is out of commission. for at least a week. and when it comes back to me, it’ll probably be reformatted. there goes all the programmes and games i have painstakingly accumulated.

but that’s for me to worry about later, because the thought reality of having to survive without a computer of my own (am using my sister’s overheating laptop right now) is just so… arghhh. can’t even describe it. it’s sad, but i feel so deprived and bored now, since most of my activity at home revolves around and involves the computer.

and even using another computer or laptop’s not the same, because it doesn’t have all the things i need and want on it. but at least the most important of my stuff are on my external hard disk, and my entire mp3 collection is safely ensconced in my ipod. thank goodness i let it automatically update, or all the albums i recently… acquired would be lost.

bah. i hate this feeling of not being able to immediately just google or wikipedia anything when a random question or fact pops up in my head. i hate not having a medium apart from my ipod to play me music while i read books. i hate not being able to play any random game or watch any random tv show when the fancy strikes me.

sigh, i’m just way too dependent on my computer, really. i’ll be without a computer for a week, but that will hardly diminish my dependence on it. it’ll probably even make me more dependent on it, i suppose. which is what happens when you’ve been using a computer for practically every single day of your life, unless i’m at camp or at a holiday…

oh well. i guess that means i’ll be watching more tv (on the tv itself, as opposed to on my computer) and playing more ps2 games. and at least there’s driving to occupy my time later… although i’ve been dreading driving lately. can’t decide if i’m just a really bad driver, if the previous instructors were lousy or too lenient with me, or a combination of both, because the instructor now makes me feel woefully inept. i’ve gone from being sure that i can drive on the road on my own, to being totally unsure and feeling like i may cause an accident anytime. or maybe it’s just the too-busy roads at ubi. i feel like killing the guy who helped me assign my lessons, because he happily just assigned the 4.25pm lessons to me without telling me that it’ll be peak hours at ubi… argh. i guess it’s also my fault for not knowing. i’ll be glad to take a short break from driving, i really am getting quite sick of it.

and oh. had a nice dinner with georgia yesterday at billy bombers. we shared a route 66 burger (learnt my lesson after the HUGE portions we had the last time) and it was funny, because when we were also done with our food we were thinking eh this isn’t enough to make us full! and we were considering ordering something else when we finished and decided that we were too full for dessert, even. haha. and my 10% off basically meant no service charge, so we only paid 10 bucks each for a nice dinner. which is quite worth it. good company and good food is always a winning combination, is it not?

walked around, shopped a little and talked with georgia, which is good to do since i haven’t seen her for a long time… about a month, i think. or maybe more. haven’t seen people like jieyi since like forever, either! but with some luck we’ll be seeing each other next saturday, to celebrate yijun’s (belated) and georgia’s birthday.

and speaking of which, happy birthday yijun! though i doubt he’ll ever read this. but haha never mind at least i remembered. after checking the classlist to see when georgia’s elusive birthday is, that is…

and now i can only hope that my beloved hp t488d comes back to me working, but with all its previous things intact. and i wouldn’t mind a memory upgrade, either. will ask my mum about it but i doubt she’ll approve, after rejecting my request to buy my laptop now since i’ll be computer-less for a week or more… sigh.

maybe i should start looking for ipod speakers so i can listen to train’s for me, it’s you album without having to plug in my earphones. there goes more money out of the window…

and oh yeah, bon voyage to gayle, who’s probably happily frolicking in wales and scotland now, the lucky pig. i want to go on holidays like that too.

all i hear now.

ah, it’s definitely proving to be a most exciting champions league final. two unbeaten teams chockfull of talented players like thierry henry and ronaldinho… it doesn’t really get better than this. (actually, it could. if man u had at least made it to the knock-out stages, that is.)

i started out as a rather neutral supporter, but eventually i ended up rooting for the men in yellow, even before the seemingly fatal red card that cemented my temporary support for arsenal.

and of course it’s temporary. there’s just no way i’ll ever support teams like arsenal and liverpool… unless it’s against chelsea, of course. i used to actually be neutral about arsenal, but my hatred for them ignited in the match where viera got sent off and some arsenal players (i only remember martin keown, who was one really ugly guy) showed how unsporting they were by bullying nistelrooy. but considering circumstances now, i’ll take arsenal over chelsea anyday.

and why not support barcelona? quite simply really, i don’t watch la liga matches but i’ve watched arsenal play quite a few times. and being an england fan i naturally gravitate towards english teams, so…

and arsenal started off well, with some nice attacking play and pretty good possession. then horror of horrors, jens lehmann (whom i’m starting to sort of admire despite hating him before) rushed out at eto’o and someone put the ball in goal. at first i was thinking crap, now barca are one up. then it turned out to be a worse prospect, because lehmann got sent off.

10 men down without their hero of a goalkeeper. like moan-inho once said, facing barca alone is no easy task, let alone with ten men. and technically they’re better than chelsea, because they not only had to survive for a longer period of time with ten men, they also scored a goal! whoa. and they managed to hold on till halftime, too. regardless of the result in the end, i’m going to give arsenal credit for their spirit.

and the game starts again! am hoping that persistence and spirit will pay off for arsenal. yikes. i’m starting to sound like an arsenal supporter. oh well, i am a temporary supporter and it’s just like me to be a thoroughly fervent fan of whatever i support, anyway.

[post-game edit]
poor arsenal :( they hung on for so long, only to lose in the end. granted that it’s to a deserving barcelona, but still. i’d thought arsenal was going to be lucky when eto’o hit the post before the first half ended, but i guess luck still loses out to bad refereeing. there’s the red card, and lots of odd fouls here and there… too many incidents to mention, i guess. and man, some barca players are really dirty. like van bommel, marquez and puyol, who frequently fouled but tried to pin the foul on arsenal players instead.

but oh well. i guess it just wasn’t meant to be for arsenal. and my support for arsenal ends… here and now. haha.

and bah the worst thing about watching late night sports is the urge to have some sort of supper. thankfully enough my mind has prevailed over my stomach in the battle of wills so far. and to maintain the status quo i shall just head along to bed now.

and try to figure out what the hell is wrong with my computer tomorrow, because it hung like a dozen times today for seemingly no reason at all. i had to restart it each time, and i can’t even run a virus scan because the computer’ll hang. argh. and i can hear the gasps – a computer problem i can’t solve? haha. oh well i guess i’ll figure it out… somehow. maybe it’s just the amount of dust that has accumulated in my cpu, or something.

how many lives must i live
how many lies must i hear
how many times must i feel so blue
how many times must i lose you?

all i hear now
is the sound of my heart breaking down, losing ground

how many bridges must i burn
how many lessons must i learn
how many times must i ask you to stay
how many times will you push me out of your way

all i hear now
is the sound of my heart breaking down, losing ground
all i hear now
is the sound of my heart losing ground, slowing down

maybe somebody will show me – a better way
maybe somebody will know me – someday
how many times must i hear your voice?
inside my dreams, and over answering machines
you’re always there and everywhere in between

all i hear now
is the sound of my heart slowing down
can you hear the sound?

all i hear now
is the sound of my heart leaving town, breaking down
slowing down, losing ground, breaking down, and stopping here.

all i hear now.
[train: all i hear]

and this is an absolutely beautiful song that poor arsenal could be singing, now.

all i ever wanted.

ahhh. i don’t know why and how to explain it, but i’m just very extremely in love with train’s for me, it’s you album. i can’t stop listening to it, i like almost every song on it and i don’t care even if some of them sound a bit alike. the killer combination of patrick monahan’s smooth-yet-raw vocals with honest, simple and downright marvellous lyrics has just about turned me into a simpering puddle of a fangirl. haha.

and if you don’t know train, drops of jupiter should help to jog your memory. though i think it’s kinda sad that most people only know that one song, and calling all angels or ordinary if they’re lucky. just like people only know lifehouse for hanging by a moment and you and me. but then again, who cares about the number of people who really know the bands and all their songs, as long as i know about them, that’s enough, isn’t it? hehe.

and i really need to stop sleeping at weird hours. ended up sleeping at about 3 or 4am because i couldn’t stop reading death note until i’d reached its (rather unsatisfying) conclusion. unsatisfying because the character i was sort of rooting for didn’t win. oh well, i guess i should be kind of used to that happening. it almost seems like most (if not all!) the tv shows i watch and books i read purposely have the endings (or pairings, really) that i don’t want. or maybe my tastes are just too quirky for my own good.

and that’s it, i just wanted to express my profound infatuation with train :)

you were my ticket outta here
and i was your dream come true
you gave me everything i ever wanted
except for you

i convinced myself that over don’t mean over
i convinced myself that i could fix it all
two dreams collided
maybe we got too excited for our own good

no more – hold on, we can make it
no more holding each other while the words all break it
move on, you know we’ll be stronger in the end

now i convinced myself that nothing could ever tear me away
and i convinced myself that we’d look back and laugh at this one day
two lives collidin’ baby
we got too excited for our own good

no more – hold on, we can make it
no more holding our breath while the truth all breaks it
move on, you know we’ll be stronger in the end

hey wait hey don’t you know that this is there is where the whole thing went wrong
hey wait hey don’t you wanna hear what i have to say
hey wait hey don’t you know that this is where the strong go on

and all i ever wanted
all i ever wanted
all i ever wanted
was you

no more – hold on we can make it
no more holding each other while the world tries to break us
move on, ya know we’ll be stronger in the end

hey wait hey don’t you know that this is there is where the whole thing went wrong
hey wait hey don’t you wanna hear what i have to say
hey wait hey don’t you know this is where the strong will go on

and all i ever wanted
all i ever wanted
all i ever wanted
was you
[train: all i ever wanted]