it’s the way that your beauty takes the stage

haven’t blogged since the exams ended… typical of me, really. since i can (almost) freely procrastinate now, most of the things i wanted to do oh so badly during the exam period don’t hold the same appeal anymore. haha.

not going to talk about the exams since they’re already over, and since i have lots of other stuff to talk about.

like my newly found… hmmm, what should i term it. obsession? maybe fascination. in any case, i now declare that i officially am a huge fan of charmaine sheh. or to put it in another way, i idolise her? haha.

as to why, it’s because i realise after watching like 3 or 4 tvb series, all with her as the leading actress (of course), that her acting has really improved by a lot. and that she’s really pretty and i daresay gorgeous. i didn’t think very much of her in the earlier series she starred in, but after maiden’s vow i started to really take note of her, and after that i made sure that all the tvb series i watched had her in them. hehe.

and in case you have no idea who i’m talking about, here’s a picture.

yup, methinks she’s really nice to look at :) but looks alone isn’t why i think she’s worthy of my adoration – as mentioned, i think her acting skills are fab, plus i went to read and watch interviews with her (yes, i’m that crazy now) and i think she has the inner beauty to go with her great looks – because of her fadan (big sister, sorta) status at tvb, she attracts a lot of gossip but unlike other stars, she leads a very “clean” life, no wild partying every night, drinking or things of that sort. in fact, she’s a workaholic – she works so much that i actually think it’s a bit crazy.

but yes, so nice looks + nice personality = why i idolise her. now i’m ruing myself for not realising or doing this earlier, when she did come to singapore to promote yummy yummy. oh well. i suppose there’s always next time…

and oh yeah, i’m supposed to post up my wishlist for christmas. so here goes.

• tvb drama series! preferably starring charmaine sheh :D
  (i’ll post up a list of preferred series later, hehe.)
• stuff to do with charmaine sheh, tvb, manchester united, oguri shun, hanakimi, prince of tennis, wentworth miller, heroes etc…
  as long as i’ve been obsessed with it before, i don’t mind :D
  stuff meaning posters, calendars and any other memorabilia, btw.
• i want the tvb 2008 calendar! which can’t exactly be bought, sigh.
• i need a new pencil case. needless to say, it has to be big.
• i wouldn’t mind new slippers… has to be comfy, of course.
  as for size, i wear like 39/40 or sizes 7 or 8. if in doubt, buy the bigger size. haha.
• oops, i almost forgot – a hair brush. the one i got from body shop before is STILL missing.
• something i can use to help manage my shure earphones, because i lost my other sumajin thingamajig
• dreamgirls dvd. but a dvd of any nice movie is okay too.
• the new book by jeffery deaver – the sleeping doll.
• dune by frank herbert. erm, i want the cover that looks like this, if possible.
• philip pullman’s his dark materials trilogy.
  you can buy just one book, but NO movie edition of the book please.
• lifehouse’s who we are album
• anything, as long as you think i’ll like it :)
  i’m not really picky (ha, who am i kidding) so it’s really the thought that counts.
  and if you know me, i don’t like getting food for presents…

i think that’s about it for now. i’ll add more if i think of anything. for now, let me go back to scanning stuff with the lousy scanner at home…

the miniature earth

if the world was a village with 100 people, what would it be like?

a little video to put things in perspective.

the most unbelievable numbers?

6 people owning 59% of the world’s wealth, and the amounts spent on “defense” and developmental aid.

sometimes i want to hammer stupid political leaders on the head, and sometimes myself, for not caring enough.

i’m falling apart, i’m barely breathing

okay my body officially hates me and doesn’t want me to do remotely well for the exams.

just as my ulcers thing has started to hurt a lot less, the rest of my body has started to rebel.

my nose has decided to go run a marathon and my neck, shoulders and back must have gotten themselves beaten up because they’re damn achy. my usually faithful head has started to ache slightly, with inklings of a migraine and my throat decided to make itself sore again. and oh yeah, my hormones decided to emo me up too.

why, body, why?

can’t you just hang in there and wreak all the havoc you want after the exams? i promise i will treat you well and let you sleep a damn lot after the exams. but until then, would you please stop misbehaving?

argh. and i only just realised the amount of stuff there is to study for gender. and how demanding each question is. and the fact that we only have 40 minutes for each question. and that my hand will probably have already conked out after europe of the dictators.

and oh yeah, i haven’t exactly started on dictators yet. and the exam is… 24 hours and 15 minutes away from now.

so not looking forward to the exams anymore. i thought it wouldn’t be so bad since the last two exams are my favourite modules this sem, but it turns out that exams are just exams. there’s just no way you can really like them.

and now my brain and body has decided to rebel against me… sigh.

i am hoping, desperately so, that i can just hang on. that i will not break down right before the paper itself.

i can do this. i know i can.

and if that’s the way it is, then that’s the way it is…

***

The broken clock is a comfort, it helps me sleep tonight
Maybe it can stop tomorrow from stealing all my time
I am here still waiting though I still have my doubts
I am damaged at best, like you’ve already figured out

I’m falling apart, I’m barely breathing
With a broken heart that’s still beating
In the pain there is healing
In your name I find meaning
So I’m holdin’ on, I’m holdin’ on, I’m holdin’ on
I’m barely holdin’ on to you

I’m hangin’ on another day
Just to see what you will throw my way
And I’m hanging on to the words you say
You said that I will, I’ll be ok

lifehouse – broken.

this kiss is poisonous

argh. my body hates me. or rather, my immunity system sucks.

first it was viral conjunctivitis after the mid-sem break, with 3 more deadlines to go.

and now? i get a viral infection of my mouth at the end of the sem, with 3 more papers to go.

whee.

at first i thought i was getting a hell lot of ulcers because i was too “heaty” (no guesses as to why i’m heaty – irregular sleeping hours and too much snacks anyone?) then after a while i realised that they weren’t ulcers. never mind, i thought i could just grin and bear it till after the exams, but i freaked out when it started to spread and so i went home to visit the 24-hour clinic nearby, and to get some rest. and decent food. haha.

and argh it hurts like hell. brushing my teeth is a painful chore and despite my sore throat calling for soupy stuff, i can’t take them because it really hurts to drink anything hot. sigh.

well i suppose as always it’s just karma or retribution for procrastination… remind me about this the next time i want to procrastinate for assignments and exams okay.

at least i know i wasn’t being lazy when i kept going to sleep yesterday… it was the infection affecting me. i hope.

and i think it made me a bit delirious too. sorta. i slept at (gasp) 2am yesterday and my sleep was punctuated with weird dreams. like i’d gone to london or europe, and came back without adjusting my watch.

and that ms ng was teaching us again and i got marked down in my exam essay for using too profound language, and she told me to use more “classic” language… huh? and then we were supposed to do the other questions we didn’t attempt during the exam. and to my horror i found that they were LITERATURE questions. then i looked through the rest of the paper and was also horrified to find big bold crosses for some maths questions which involved simple algebra. so you can only imagine what a relief it was to wake up and find that it was only a dream. i hope it’s not some kind of ominous premonition about my last three papers though…

oh well. back to total war. i’m getting worried because i haven’t started on dictators or gender studies yet.

d-e-a-d.

i need some motivation :(